Why Am I So Afraid?

Last week something really amazing happened.

After I’d finished my Madagascar e-book at the end of last year, I asked a group of photographer friends about recommendations for blogs that I could submit an article to. Being an amazing group, they sent me a number of suggestions. My reaction to a few of their suggestions was “Yeah right. Like my work is good enough to be featured on that blog. *snort*”. But I decided to be brave and submit my work anyway. So I sent off my submission and heard nothing back.

Fast forward to last week. I opened up my inbox to an enquiry. Not for a wedding this time, but for some commercial work. My first instinct was to think of the first excuse of why I couldn’t take the job. I told myself “I’m a wedding photographer. I don’t know how to do what they are looking for.” And then more and more excuses just kept on coming. But none of them were good excuses. I decided to close my laptop and sleep on it. I journaled about why my first instinct was to make and excuse and run away. I’ve been saying that I want to make photography my full-time income, but how is that ever going to happen when I keep getting in my own way.

The next morning I woke up to the most amazing message in my inbox. That blog I’d submitted my Madagascar story to, they wanted to publish it. I would be published in on a blog that features some of the world’s best wedding photographers. I couldn’t stop smiling! And to think I’d almost not sent the submission because I didn’t think it would be good enough.

So I decided to accept the commercial job too. And I’ve vowed to myself to stop making excuses.

And I know that I’m not alone. We all make excuses. But when you take a moment to look at your excuses, you’ll see that most of them are made out of fear. Fear of failure, fear of success, fear of being judged.  Perhaps now it’s time to take that leap of faith and realise that if you never try, you can’t fail, but does that mean you’ve really succeeded?

At the start of 2017 I wrote down my motto for the year:

Say Yes To New Adventures

And that is exactly what I am going to do from now on!

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Author: Cat Ekkelboom-White

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