What If I Don’t Love My Wedding Photos?

We all know that scene in Bridget Jones:

Mark Darcy: [Bridget gets out of bed covered in a sheet and begins to fumble around] What on Earth are you doing?
Bridget Jones: Getting dressed.
Mark Darcy: Why’re you dancing around in that tent business?
Bridget Jones: Because I don’t want you to see any of my wobbly bits.
Mark Darcy: Well now that’s a bit pointless, isn’t it? As I happen to have a very high regard for your wobbly bits. In all circumstances.
Bridget Jones: [Bridget’s head emerges from the sheet] Really?
Mark Darcy: Absolutely. I think it’s high time we had another look. [Bridget drops the sheet on the floor]

That person standing up at the alter on your wedding day is just like Mr Darcy. You say you have bingo wings but he doesn’t notice. He sees the person he fell in love with walking towards him about to become his wife. Just as you find that he can’t grow a proper beard cute despite his efforts.

 

You both know you’re not perfect, but you love each other despite all of those things.

 

But unfortunately you don’t give yourself that same grace. If you had to decsribe yourself to someone else would you be kind? Or would you reduce yourself to simply describing your flaws? Believe me, I’m not judging. I describe myself as short and stocky and often liken myself to one of the dancing hippos in Fantasia.

 

So when it comes to your wedding photos, us wedding photographers know that you might be feeling a little self conscious. We’ll try to help you forget that you’re being photographed. We want you to focus on the joy you are feeling. When you are happy, it shines from you.

 

Bride wearing black and gold as the groom stands behind her and they smile Bride and Groom Elissa and Ralf laughing during the wedding speeches at their wedding reception in St Anton in Austria Stephanie and Lee looking at each other in the cable car and laughing

 

But we are not miracle workers. If you don’t love yourself, there’s a chance you won’t like our photographs of you. Of course we know poses to draw attention from certain areas, if we know you are conscious about them, but if hate your teeth when you smile or you’re 6 months pregnant, we can’t change that. We’re not going to use photoshop to smoothen out that bump or give you new teeth.

 

Steven embraces Pamela from behind as they stand in the snow in Mayrhofen

 

We can only ask you to show yourself some kindness. When you first look at your photos, try not to look straight at what you see as your flaws. Try to see and to feel the emotions that you felt at that time. That’s what a great photograph captures. Not perfection. Emotion. All those little moments of happy tears and belly laughs that made up your wedding day. Moments that allow you to relive that amazing day over and over again. That is truly beautiful.

 

Bride Karin laughs hysterically at their wedding receptionBride Rebecca turning to her guests and laughing as she is covered in confetti

 

This husband’s letter to the photographer Victoria Caroline Boudoir who photoshopped his wife’s images (on her request) says it all:

“Hi Victoria,
I am (blank)’s husband, ********. I am writing to you because I recently received an album containing images you took of my wife. I don’t want you to think that I am in any way upset with you….but I have some food for thought that I would like to pass on to you. I have been with my wife since we were 18 years old, and we have two beautiful children together.

We have had many ups and downs over the years, and I think…well, actually I KNOW that my wife did these pictures for me to “spice things up”. She sometimes complains that I must not find her attractive, that she wouldn’t blame me if I ever found someone younger. When I opened the album that she gave to me, my heart sank.

These pictures…while they are beautiful and you are clearly a very talented photographer….they are not my wife.

You made every one of her “flaws” disappear…and while I’m sure this is exactly what she asked you to do, it took away everything that makes up our life. When you took away her stretch marks, you took away the documentation of my children.

When you took away her wrinkles, you took away over two decades of our laughter, and our worries. When you took away her cellulite, you took away her love of baking and all the goodies we have eaten over the years.

I am not telling you all of this to make you feel horrible, you’re just doing your job and I get that. I am actually writing you to thank you.

Seeing these images made me realise that I honestly do not tell my wife enough how much I LOVE her and adore her just as she is. She hears it so seldom, that she actually thought these photoshopped images are what I wanted and needed her to look like.

I have to do better, and for the rest of my days I am going to celebrate her in all her imperfectness. Thanks for the reminder.”

***********************************************

Even though I don’t use photoshop, I do edit all of the photos that you receive in your final gallery.

If you’d like to see behind the scenes on how I edit then check out the blog again next Tuesday.

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