Five Lies The Wedding Industry Is Telling You

The wedding industry is a wonderful industry. I first got introduced to it four years ago when I was a bride to be, but there was so much contradicting information via wedding blogs, in magazines and by talking to industry professionals that it felt quite overwhelming at times. Three years later, I’ve now seen things from the other side. And I think it is time to put a few things straight:

 

1. It Will Cost You More If You Tell Them It’s A Wedding
I thought I’d start with this one as it’s always the elephant in the room. This is absolutely NOT TRUE. Wedding are not cheap occasions, but there is so much more planning and experience that goes in to a wedding than, let’s say, a corporate dinner. Of course companies are always going to want to provide a great sevice whatever the occasion, but they know that a wedding day is a event that only happens once and they’ll work extra hard to make sure it’s unforgettable. Locations will often close to the public if there is a wedding on, florists might work overtime to make sure the flowers are delivered looking fresh. So much happens behind the scenes to make sure everything is just how you’ve envisioned it.
Just Married gold heart shaped helium balloon

 

2. Everything Has To Be Perfect
I don’t like the obsession with the perfect wedding. The media’s portrayal of a perfect wedding is one where every last detail from the invitations to the flower girl’s tights are all perfectly colour coordinated and everything runs without a single hitch. I can tell you now, this almost never happens. No matter how well you plan, you simply can’t control everything. But you can control how you react to it. All you really need for a perfect wedding is a two people in love and someone to marry them. If by the end of the day they are married, that seems pretty perfect to me. Everything else is just background noise.
Bride smushes a snowball in the groom's face

 

3. The Bride Should Wear White (And Nobody Else Should)
Brides wearing white dresses is actually a relatively new trend in the history of marriage. But somehow it caught on. And now brides are expected to wear white whether they want to or not. Thankfully it’s becoming more and more popular to go against the tradition and many bridal boutiques are now stocking coloured and patterned gowns. Of course, there’s no reason why you have to buy a wedding dress at all if you’d rather wear something completely different. It’s your day. Wear whatever you feel comfortable in. And so what if your cousin turns up in a white cocktail dress. I don’t think anyone is going to mistake her for the bride. Do you?!
Elissa and Ralf looking at the camera and smiling and then looking at each other lovingly

 

4. You Need To Have A Wedding Party
To get legally married almost anywhere in the world you will need to have two witnesses. There’s nothing in the rule book about whether this needs to be a best man and a maid (or matron) of honour and an entourage of bridesmaids and groomsmen. This can seem especially crazy if you’re having a small, intimate celebration. It can also be awkward for couples when you might be closer to some of your friends than some of your siblings, or feel obliged to ask someone from work just because they’ve taken an interest in your wedding plans. More and more couples are chosing to skip the bridal party altogether and just simply hold all of their guests on an equal level. Then there’s no reason for anyone to ge upset for not being chosen.
Bride and bridesmaids sitting on a wooden bench, looking at each other and laughing

 

5. You Will Feel Different After The Wedding Day
At brunch the day after their wedding, my best friend happily told everyone how great it felt to be married and how she woke up feeling somehow different and at peace, and everyone around smiled and ahh-ed in admiration. The day after our wedding I woke up feeling, well, utterly exhausted and in need of a holiday. Of course we were both supper happy that we had finally got married and that I now had an un-spellable surname, but really we didn’t feel any different. It made me worry that perhaps we just weren’t simply in love enough. But I know so many other couples who have said the same. Just like you don’t feel different when you go from being 29 to being 30. In some cases, couples and their families have even been known to get “post-wedding blues” once the excitement and adrenaline from the wedding wears off and everyone goes home.
A Legend cork from a wine bottle in a bowl of water and ice cubes

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Author: Cat Ekkelboom-White

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